Swanny rounds on sprinkler's critics

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Watch the latest installment of Swanny's video diary

‘The sprinkler’ was an easy scapegoat when England lost the third Ashes Test at Perth.

Swanny used his latest video diary to hit back at critics of the “dance craze that’s sweeping the team at the minute.”

He was backed by his team-mates after they won the fourth Test at the MCG today to retain the Ashes.

“Some members of the press suggested it was the sprinkler that cost us the game in Perth,” Swanny said.

“That particular member of the press was in charge of Middlesex last year as they finished bottom of Division Two.”

Graeme Swann & England

Swanny and England perform 'the sprinkler', that was made scapegoat for defeat in Perth, after today's win at the MCG

Here are some other highlights:

Dressed as Father Christmas… The things I do to put my kids through college. I did actually run a competition state-wide to see who’d like to come and sit on my knee, but Kylie Minogue never entered in the end.

Wearing Batman face paint on Christmas Day… How much money would you pay me to bowl in the Boxing Day Test match with this on?

Sitting at the singles table at Christmas lunch… Tell us another joke Monty.

From Swanny’s Christmas Day speech…

Congratulations to Alastair Cook this year, who eventually won the prize as world’s best ‘Woody’ imitator - from Toy Story.

Congratulations must also go out this year to Nottinghamshire County Cricket Club for winning the County Championship, proving that Yorkshire are good for nothing.

Sports Personality of the Year passed without me getting the main honours. I didn’t even beat the girl who slid down a hill on tea tray.

Congratulations must go out to Matthew Prior recently, who was voted by readers of the Brighton and Hove Rotary Club news pamphlet as beard of the year.

Watch the full archive of Swanny's Video Diary on ecb.co.uk/video

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